Have you avoided having a conversation to a woman just because she was talking to another guy?
Or maybe you avoided approaching a group of girls with one or two guys with them because you feared embarrassment just because you ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.
Most guys shy away from approaching women who are with other guys for a couple reasons.
They think that the woman is “with” the guy, and assume he’s her boyfriend.
This isn’t a real reason to not talk to a woman, especially in a bar - it’s a social setting where people meet other people. Plus - she’s not his “slave” - she’s a human being, not a piece of property, so she is free to talk to whomever she chooses.
You will extremely look confident if you approach more often a woman who is “with” a guy and this can draw out the guy’s jealous side, making him look weak and insecure.
The second reason why guys don’t approach woman who is “with” a guy points to a deep insecurity based on a simple misconception.
Men tend to be threatened by other men, instantly assuming that the “other guy” is stronger, cooler, or somehow more powerful.
This comes from an ancient survival strategy that had been fixed into human brain.
The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious, and it’s hard to tell who the more “dominant” person is in any given interaction. So when a male is confronted by another male, he doesn’t know how dominant the other guy is.
He doesn’t know if he will be embarrassed verbally, or as was probably common thousands of years ago, beaten up.
So it’s better to play safe by assuming that the other guy is a threat. Guys that were too bold may have won a few confrontations, but it will take a single loss to end up dead or exiled from the game.
And then their genes were taken out of the “race” so to speak.
So the guys who played it safe, and avoided confrontation usually lived long enough to reproduce and survive.
The irony is that most of approach anxiety nowadays have the basis on this hard-wired survival strategy - the false assumptions of the guys will lead them to unnecessarily avoid women.
Here is the thing, mostly when you see a girl talking to another guy in the club or bar, she’s not WITH him.
They JUST MET!
I can’t tell you how many exact times I have approached a woman that is being with a guy that I thought he was “with” that guy or say a boyfriend, then only to find out that it was just a dude that approached her. Or he was just a friend or relative.
I have regrets to those times that I’ve missed so many opportunities talking to a woman just because I saw her with another guy. And this brings me to my first point:
DON’T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL EVIDENCE. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO THE WOMAN.
You will know it if you try to act and find out. Just remember that in time that they are together you should be alert an respectful, the guy may be the insecure jealous type and may start a confrontation.
So be smart and wise - don’t just stick around on having a false judgment.
The idea that the other man can be more “dominant” that you are is the next important thing that I want to talk about.
The alpha male during caveman days had a real power - he knows where to get resources like food, and was physically stronger, that he could beat up competitors. The concept of the alpha male is completely obsolete.
But ask yourself if those powers are relevant today. Every man with a source of income can survive on his own - if you’re reading this, you probably have access to food and shelter. You’re all set.
Plus, its illegal to use the physical strength just to beat people up. It is pretty much irrelevant to use in the modern world.
You’ll always end up losing if you attack another person because the police always win.
You are LETTING RANDOM GUYS STOP YOU FOR NO REASON! if you are thinking about it.
Just excuse my French, but who is HE to say who YOU talk to???
I recall all the girls I missed out on because I was afraid about some DUDE. And it makes me mad remembering that and knowing that the other guys are dealing with some crap!
You are going to look back on all the things you did and didn’t do, when the time comes that you’re on your deathbed. How painful it is to say “I haven’t approached that girl because I was scared of another guy,” or “I could have enjoyed being with so many beautiful women if only I have approached them even if they were TALKING to another guy.”
I don’t want to happen that to you.
So let’s look at this on a deeper level. Seeing another guy as more dominant means you don’t truly understand dominance.
You see, you instantly consider yourself NOT dominant when you’re concerned with who is more dominant. There’s a better focus.
To be dominant, you must first THINK like a dominant man. And dominant men don’t think about who is dominant. So what do dominant men think about? Whatever it is they are doing or want.
So you see another guy talking to a group of girls. Instead of worrying about whether or not he’s more dominant than you, focus on the girls.
I rarely even acknowledge other guys, because too often it’s proven to be a waste of time. 9 times out of 10 the girls don’t even know the guy - they just met him.
Or if they do know the guy, it’s because he was a friend of ONE of the girls, and the rest barely know him.
It’s rare for girls to go out with a guy they are dating - usually they will bring a guy who is more of a protector/friend because a guy like that is more valuable when they go out on the town.
And also, if that guy IS with one of the girls, that means he’s NOT with the other girls - they are fair game.
If you are concerned with who’s the alpha male, then you are NOT the alpha male by definition. As a matter of fact, it’s questionable whether alpha males truly exist in the modern era.
Have your focus in a USEFUL place and don’t assume anything. And don’t let some random guy prevent you from enjoying YOUR LIFE!
And do you ever feel despite all your hard work you’re not even closer to your goal?
If you agreed to those questions, then you may continue reading.
I’m not going to lie, the dating game can be quite frustrating.
You are interested in a woman that has a boyfriend.
You think everything is going great with a girl and she stops returning your calls.
Though of course we know that it is the man that exerts a lot of moves in order to make things right and moving.
You must have the courage in the way you approach.
YOU have to keep the conversation going at first, YOU have to escalate physically, YOU have to get HER number or rack your brain to figure out a logistical way to take her home, YOU have to plan the date.
Men are much higher than women when it comes to the standards of behavior.
(Let’s not started on that…let’s just say women are allowed to get away with sub-par behavior just because they are “beautiful.”)
That can be debilitating, especially if you don’t have an “extroverted” trait.
…I just had a client who often complained of “extroversion fatigue.”
I used to struggle with that too that’s why I knew exactly what he meant.
Before I began to teach myself pickup, I would go out, and be mentally DRAINED after talking to three or four women.
What I do is to have a sit and rest!
I am working hard than I was in my full time job instead of having some fun and relax in those situation. Now you see how strange it is.
I would go home and be absolutely DEAD
… from SPEAKING TO WOMEN!
Does it make sense to you???
As a whole, there is a general dating fatigue. Having a discouraging results, an emotional ups and downs with regards to the hard work and effort that I make just to have a girl to hang out with me or to sleep with me.
I feel I am working overtime just like a full time job!
When I first got in this game, I literally had to force myself to go out and pickup ALL DAY for days on end. (I admit, I was a nerd, and pushed it to the extreme.)
But what can I say, I was very eager to learn all this stuff (and not to mention extremely hungers for results after years of sensual frustration).
I am pushing myself just like an athletes that pushes themselves to the gym
I was working muscles or to be more precise I was forming NEW NEUROPATHWAYS, that I had never used before
If you can relate to any of this, then you are probably working too hard in your interactions with women.
Here are the 3 reasons for this.
The first reason is may be new to you - being socially proactive.
I remember the first time I started weight lifting, I don’t have an upper pectoral muscles - the muscle right at the top of your chest just under your clavicle that make your chest look big.
Actually I did, but they were so small and weak, it took a good three weeks to even begin to feel them. Every time I worked them out I was incredibly sore and could barely move my arms.
Then I can now handle the big amounts of weight right after I have reached the tripping point in the development of my muscle. The mind is in that way too.
Developing your new neuro-pathways will take time. So with the level of your skills, you need to push yourself harder from day-to-day.
Thinking that meeting women requires a lot of hard work can cause a social fatigue. And that is the second reason.
It’s not really so much about “fatigue” but it’s more on having an overwhelmed feeling.
When you feel overwhelmed by something, it can frazzle your mind, and lead to a sort of depression, or discouragement, which may feel like exhaustion if you’re not deeply aware. It’s like your body is saying “ugh, it’s too much work. I give up before I can even begin.”
This will hold you back from DOING ANYTHING. I suffered from this kind of feeling when I started putting a lot of my theories on paper. I looked at my notes and felt like I was looking at one of those huge, complex physics equations.
It was discouraging to think that I had to do almost all the needed things just to get a good quality of women.
Lastly, you will feel socially exhausted for your dating and mating game, when you spend a lot of effort and focus on stuff in wrong situation and find out it was not helpful to your pick-up.
99 percent of men gets it wrong when it comes to attracting women. The thing is, the woman usually can’t tell, because most men after suffering from a few harsh rejections learn to hide their inner “stuff.”
But this doesn’t negate the fact that when the average guy is attracted to a woman, he spends his mental energy on trying to impress her, or figure out if she likes him.
As what we have seen and heard in the media, from our parents and friends - generally it lets us know that man’s role is to IMPRESS the woman and in return a woman will sleep with you.
Ridiculous!
I get so mad when I see some commercial with a guy bumbling around trying to impress some cute girl, and looking like a fool while she giggles like she’s better than him because she’s a girl.
Ok enough ranting… the point is that most guys are screwed when it comes to being in control of their dating lives.
But everything will absolutely change if the guy will only takes time to adjust the way his MIND works when it comes to attraction.
You need to get the most out of your body and mind so that it can lead you to the highest level of your interaction with women and that’s what’s really attractive.
One Night Stands is the topic that I want to share with you
today.
Before I don’t really know how to do the one night stands,
and I started to understand how easy it is to apply after I
have used a couple of solid pickups.
“Bad belief overhaul” is what I can say when I look back on
those things that I did.
I began to believe that women wanted me and wants to get in
bed.
Even though I know that I am not that good looking like
other men, I started to think that I was that too attractive
and desirable to woman
The main goal, of about 75% of my students, is to sleep with
as many women as possible.
While the others have the aim to find their someone special
but I don’t think these aim are mutually exclusive.
You see, in order to find that special girl and to have the
best choice, you should see and go out with a bunch of good
women.
Finding and meeting your someone special can be a daunting
task, if you don’t know how to meet women.
Getting started is a common phase that a good pickup artist
needs to go through. In order to meet and sleep with LOT OF
WOMEN, he should learn to think and behave in a new ways.
He’s like a kid in a candy store, taking full advantage of
his new powers!
This period of learning is necessary, or at least it was for
me in order to snap out of my old way of thinking, and
internalize my new reality - that I am attractive and woman
want to sleep with me.
Bare in mind that it is important to have a fast and natural
sensual encounter when you are with women, for you to get
the goal in your hand.
I’m talking about one-night stands, same day lays, whatever
you want to call it.
Now if you’ve never had a one night stand, or maybe got
lucky a couple of times when you were drunk, having a
one-night ’stands at-will’ can seem just as out-of-reach as
having a great girlfriend.
But you know what you are doing and is able to learn new
things, you will find it very easy to do.
But the sad thing is, there are many men that make things
too hard for themselves and never be able to get the first
sexual experience that will make them feel like “natural.”
If you’re reading this, then you are interested in getting
not only BETTER with woman, but you want to MASTER THE GAME.
Mastery of the game comes from within and it start right
through your mindset and leads to a visible results that
form New Beliefs in your mind.
Your new beliefs will become the foundation in building and
facing the new reality in your life, you will then naturally
attract many women without even thinking and doing fancy
lines and routines.
There’s one thing you need to know when going for a
one-night stand - You cannot always bring home the hottest
girl in the place.
You can get a solid number from her, but whether or not a
woman is open to going home with a guy on a particular night
varies widely.
However, in any bar, club, or even a day-time situation,
there are LOTS of horny women who would be open to getting
down with you that same day or night. You just have to know
how to spot these women.
The things that I look in spotting them are in the way how
they dressed, how much make-up they put on their face and
other things that relates to how they look physically.
Remember that there is a reason why women exert a lot of
effort in order to look beautiful.
The reason is they want to be approached. Although it isn’t
always true but is generally the case.
Another thing that you can spot that a woman is looking for
attention is when she is being so loud and animated.
Lastly, another good prospect are woman that are looking
around the room more than the other girls that she’s with.
Also a group of two or three women all standing around with
blank expressions, scoping the room are another prospect.
These women are obviously making themselves out there,
waiting to be notice by men.
Now you have to take this in mind — Avoid running your
clever routines into full-stream and your cocky frame
control stuff when approaching those women.
A simple “hey, you guys look great tonight. Special
occasion?” is enough. It’s just have to be social, delicate
and showing that you are interested in meeting them.
To discuss openly that you want her in bed and looking to
take her home can put a woman into a a point to agree and
bang with you, implicitly. So try not to make it obvious
that it is your main purpose.
Or also, build sensual tension with her, as we discuss
heavily in our workshops.
This is against her “rules” and will force her to keep you
at a distance. You’re also going to need logistical
information, so that you can figure out how to get her back
to your place when the time comes.
So before that thing happen, you have to remove some of your
overt sensual intention and try not to let her know that you
are trying to pick her up.
You have to be willing to let go of controlling the
situation, and just enjoy yourself, while escalating
appropriately.
Although it may seem as counter intuitive, but this is how
it works.
You have to believe that women wants to have sex and a lot
of women in the place wants to have a fast getting laid
down.
Some won’t and some will, and that is why you need to know
how to spot and get them.
You don’t want to put a lot of effort and time with the
wrong girl or to pick the right girl and then mess it up
after a very long interaction.
http://www.vindicarlo.com The Attraction code video. Vin DiCarlo talks about how he developed his book, The Attraction Code. For more information about the contents of the book and to sign up for a free 45 minute masterclass introduction to the attraction code visit www.AttractionCodeBook.com.
