I’ve tried peacocking myself. I did this maybe a couple times when I heard that other guys were doing it, just to see if it worked.
I felt ridiculous when I went out and was totally incongruent with my personality.
But we all know that women pay attention to fashion, and like a well-dressed man.
I noticed that it was in my workout clothes or something really basic - like jeans and a tanktop that some of my best pickups occurred.
At the same time, I’d see muscled-up guys wearing revealing spandex, or super-tight shirts at the club, and women definitely did not respond well to this.
This make me think… that maybe this is not on how much the clothes cost or how flashy they are…
I guess there is something else going on.
Actually, there are two things going on, and you must manage and balance these two things.
First and foremost, never seek approval from women. If a woman can tell that you are trying to impress her or make her like you, you are toast.
So if you look like you got dressed with the intention of getting women’s attention, they’ll see you coming a mile a way and put up their defenses.
You DON’T have to look like a pick up artist.
To dress modestly and not put too much thought into it avails much.
However, you need to present yourself in the best way you can and not to look sloppy.
This comes back to self-expression.
You already have a sense of what kind of guy you are, what your “scene” is, what you think is cool.
Never change that.
Instead, cultivate it, with these simple tweaks.
Wear colors that suites to your skin tone and hair color. This isn’t rocket science. You can look online or go to n upscale men’s clothing store, and ask someone about this.
Next thing, make sure your clothes are clean, wrinkle free and reasonably updated. A woman shouldn’t have to worry about bringing you around her friends.
Lastly, make sure that your garments are well-fitted, in other words, they EMPHASIZE YOUR MASCULINE PHYSIQUE.
Wear shirts that narrow your waist, and square your shoulders.
Put on a pants that make your legs look long and thin.
Wear shoes that make your feet look big and well-formed.
Clean up yourself - nose, neck, and ear hairs. Get a respectable haircut. Figure out what looks great for if you shave or not to shave, and take it all the way.
One other thing…
Accessories should adhere off you loosely, and have a look of a small decoration that says, “yeah, I can fuck.”
Use your intuition with this one. I don’t want to say too much because that’s a whole other topic.
Usually it is my girlfriend who pick the clothes for me - not for my benefit…
… but so that she doesn’t feel embarrassed when we go out in public together!
If I were the one to pick my clothes, I’d rather pick the sweats and t-shirt, coupled with my old worn sneakers. I mean, I think fashion is silly.
I can definitely appreciate the artistic aspect of fashion design and style. When you look at a really well dressed woman, her outfit is like a work of art, and I dig that.
I kinda lose respect when a guy is “too stylish.”
Don’t get me wrong, a man should present himself like he means to be taken seriously. A nice suit, good quality, well-fitting clothes are a fundamental part of masculine expression.
But some men take it too far.
Case in point, the obsession with “peacocking” in the pickup Community for the past several years.
When I hear this term it makes me cringe.
YOU ARE NOT A PEACOCK.
Let me explain what is “peacocking,” in case you’re not familiar.
There was an emergence of routine-based “game” a while ago that rely heavily on superficial techniques, status games, and over-analysis of social interactions.
This always gone in the opposite direction and I never saw the value of it.
Major reason is I saw how pretending to be someone other than yourself, and it JUST FELT WRONG saying the routines and joke that the other guys came up with.
On top of that, the PRIMARY FOCUS of all that strategizing and game-playing was to covertly get approval from women, while making them feel insecure so they’d think you were cooler than them.
Think about the layers of bullshit in that approach to dating. Not only are you faking your personality because you
a) look for approval (as if girls were an authority on what makes man a man)
b) hide the truth that you’re looking for approval
c) play games with women so that they feel insecure and try to seek your approval
YUCK
To dress up in a really loud, ostentatious way so that women would “notice” you and want to talk to you is a kind of “peacock,”. And “peacock” is one of the main techniques in approaching women.
Wearing a nice watch, or a necklace isn’t a bad thing because some have personal meaning.
But don’t do it to make women like you.
I’m pretty sure a lot of men has seen this approach on TV shows, straining to make sense out of this hare-brained “technique.”
It’s sad to say that some students of other pickup schools that I’ve encountered, were not only nervous, misdirected, clumsy, they looked RETARDED.
So I want to make a direct proof when it comes to fashion and approaching women.
There are only a handful of things you need to pay attention to when it comes to your appearance.
After you get this stuff handled, you should put it out of your mind, and not wait for women to notice you before you TAKE ACTION.
Before we move on, I have a secret that has to reveal.
But before that I’d like to ask a couple of questions from you…
Have you ever been with a girl, and she asked you if you were honest, reliable or had a good relationship with your family?
Do you remember feeling motivated to answer in a way to impress her?
-or-
Have you been in a situation with a girl, and she talked about how she loved when her boyfriend did something very specific?
Do you feel being motivated to do the same exact thing?
We’ve all been there in that situation.
What’s important however is not the outcome was in those situations, but only to be AWARE of the fact that you were EMOTIONALLY COMPELLED to behave in a certain way…
Whether the girl knew it or not (most likely, she DIDN’T) she was SHAPING you.
Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing…
People do it to each other all the time.
But most of the time, you are encouraging a girl to behave in a way that is NOT aligned with your desired outcome.
And that’s what we want to change STARTING RIGHT NOW.
Shaping includes a number of tools that are used to set a STRONG precedent of behavior in a girl.
There are a number of different ways you can start to employ shaping in your interactions with girls.
And I’ve split them up into 5 different categories.
Now don’t get me wrong.
This is a HUGE topic, and I could literally teach an entire seminar on shaping ALONE.
Right now I just want to get the seeds planted in your mind so that you can begin to grasp the higher level ideas, and start to incorporate them into your interactions.
So let’s look at the five different categories of shaping.
1. SCREENING QUESTIONS.
Screening questions are questions specifically designed to:
A) Get a girl to answer a specific way and
B) Start to behave in a manner more congruent with how she just answered you.
There are many types of screening questions, and above all you should use them in the right context.
For example, you wouldn’t start a conversation with a woman with the question “Do you consider yourself to be independent?”… but it might come later on.
Screening questions are by far the least subtle and most OVERT out of all the shaping techniques.
They are easiest to employ RIGHT away, but because they cause a sharp emotional response, they may seem transparent and obvious to the woman.
2. SHOWING THAT YOU VALUE CERTAIN BEHAVIORS OR PERSONALITY TRAITS.
This is very similar to screening questions, except this time you are making a statement.
It’s a little less obvious, but it is no where near as subtle as the remaining 3 techniques.
Instead of saying something like “What was the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?” (which is a screening question) You might say something like “Spontaneity is really important to me. It not only keeps things fresh and exciting, but also reminds me of our incredible freedom in life.”
Because you are JUSTIFYING your statement with a truism (it’s hard to argue that spontaneity keeps things fresh and exciting), she cannot disagree and will be motivated to agree that spontaneity is important.
And because she’s committed to saying spontaneity is important, the girl will now behave in a way CONSISTENT with that.
3. SETTING A STRONG PRECEDENT THROUGH STROYTELLING.
This technique, along with the next two, are VERY devious.
They are so devious, in fact, that girls use them ALL THE TIME.
We’re getting warmer.
It’s funny actually - my sister recently sat in on a recent DiClassified Drills workshop in NYC and I was surprised to discover that she not only agreed with the effectiveness of my techniques, but also - had already used many of them NATURALLY!
Of course this makes sense, seeing that many of my BEST techniques have been stolen DIRECTLY from the women I know who have the VERY BEST game.
The idea behind this 3rd concept is that you will tell a story that DEMONSTRATES what standards you expect, so that she can live up to them.
For example, you could say to a girl, very early in the interaction something like:
“One thing that is great about my friend Sarah, is that she is extremely thoughtful. Last night I mentioned that I was thinking of going shopping for a few new shirts, and not two hours later she dropped off this month’s copy of GQ magazine on her way to the gym. Only problem now is, I have TOO MANY new ideas for a new outfit.”
The beauty of that is, it doesn’t even have to be true!
(I’m not going to make a moral decision for you here, I’m sure that you’re more than capable. But for the record, these techniques have the exact same effect to a girl whether they are true or not)
4. POINTING OUT A DESIRED PERSONALITY TRAIT WHILE IGNORING THE UNDESIRABLE.
This is classic shaping, and can be used freely to boost-up existing behaviors and personality traits.
The idea is that - if you see a girl doing something (for example, drinking like CRAZY while out in a bar) you can comment on this in the following way.
Taking this single behavior - drinking like crazy, there are different components to it, some good, some bad.
Let’s say you like the free-spirited aspect of it, but you don’t like the fact that she may not have a lot of self control…
You could say:
“Wow, you’re so much fun! and so-free spirited. It’s cool you do things you really want to do, and don’t rely for others for direction. You follow your OWN desires.”
By pointing out behaviors, you are in fact REWARDING them and AMPLIFYING that same behavior
in the future.
By selecting the ASPECT of her behaviors you like, and calling attention to them, you are SHAPING her future behavior.
(By the way, the above example is useful when going for a same-night-lay with a girl. You tell her she makes her own decisions and she’ll be less likely to listen to her friends when they suggest that she shouldn’t go home with you. Sneaky, but also KILLER in the field)
5. REWARD CALIBRATION
For instance, giving a woman cues as to how to perceive you based on the nature of the way you reward her ‘good’ behavior. This is highly advanced, and I am far beyond the scope of this newsletter.
Just understand that if you have determined what you will acknowledge as “good” behavior from a girl, it is to your benefit to REWARD her with something you want her to WORK for or CHASE AFTER.
Hint: It should be either affection, physicality or sex, and NEVER material or monetary. Violating this rule is the surest way to CREATE a gold digger!
(YES. Gold diggers are not born gold diggers. They are CREATED on a case by case basis by the men in their lives. See a woman as a gold digger, and that my friend, is what she will be.)
Stay good and use this techniques properly and with care.
Today I will be sharing with you the part III of the story telling techniques. And this technique is about adding TOUCH to your stories.
This technique is very powerful and ties back into displaying your personality and bringing your characters to life. And this really helps paint the picture and get your audience more involved.
As an example for this would be like “My friend and I were walking over there like this… (lock arm in arm).”
When you are using like this arm and arm example, you would only do it for that short instance, not tell the rest of the story arm and arm. And when you do the touching, only hold whatever touch you are displaying for the appropriate part of the story. If you are using something like the arm a
An example I would use in my story is when describing his weirdness would be “I would be talking with some of my friends and he would come up from behind me, stick his arm around me like this (put arm on girls shoulder and pull her in, give her a little shake, showing exactly what he did to me).
Continue telling your story while initiating the touch, and not looking at where you are touching or pausing and waiting for any form of reaction. That is the key for you not to look obvious
Another fun thing to sprinkle into your stories is subtle hints that raise your desirability. It can essentially be a tasteful ways to brag in your stories… without actually bragging.
These include mentioning other women in your life, having special social privileges, being the leader of your group, and doing things that make you stand out.
Now you really don’t need these much but in some cases it can add a special flare to your stories.
Actually I often mentioning other women in my stories. You can do this by changing the word “friend” to “girlfriend” or name dropping by saying “my friends Lisa and Sarah” anything along those lines.
They need to be subtle and never the focus of your story. They are just minor details.
To make them theme authentic, do not provide an explanation for them. If part of your story involves you hooking up with multiple people, don’t provide an explanation for it, instead just keep talking, it’s not the focus on the story and by not providing an explanation, it comes off as a perfectly natural thing that is no big deal.
Be sure to eliminate redundancies and all unnecessary content and make sure your story is moving along and does not drag out. That is the biggest problem people make, they drag their stories out too long about things that don’t affect the overall story.
For now…you should be aiming for about 2 mins stories.
How much you share all depends on the skills that you have develop in your storytelling. A masterful storyteller could capture the attention of the audience for 20 minutes. But for now, focus on getting 2-3 solid minutes of your audiences attention.
Always make sure you are keeping eye contact, this will help hold the audiences attention and remember to look for clues of people fading out so you know when to speed things up and get to the punch line.
Looking back at the original example of…
“So the other day I am at club voodoo with my friends and I am going around making some new friends and having a good time. Well this one guy somehow works his way into my group but then ends up not leaving us alone all night, and he was a really annoying person that you just don’t want to talk to. He kept making every interaction in the club awkward and would not leave until he actually gets a hint and goes home.”
Now you can see the dramatic changes these steps can make to any story.
Here is the FINAL revised version of my story. Enjoy:
Me: “Hey guys…how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt get them to leave you alone?!”
Group: “blah blah”
Me: “Yeah that’s interesting so check this out…the other day I am at Club Voodoo, you ever been? (Check in point)…Cool, anyway I walk in with a group of my friend Lisa and some friends she brought along. There is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time and meeting lots of cool new people.
Well this one guy somehow works his into my “group” and he just has this annoying vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. You know when someone just clearly does not belong and seems out of place… kind of like that guy (Put arm on person from audiences shoulder and point to someone else outside the audience)
So my friends and I keep trying to avoid him but he just won’t back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito…with a really bad taste in clothing…like you have no idea how bad it was, I would be talking to some of Lisa’s friends and he would come up, stick his head between us and wrap us both in his arms and give us a little shake like this…(Do exactly what he did on them) And the worst part is he had this nasty…thick breath….oh it was terrible.
(Random Story Telling Tip: Appeal to the senses, especially the smell, it is the least addressed and most memorable.) Anyway… my friends and I try to get away by going to the VIP floor and we have been drinking the free energy drinks all night and made a super tall pyramid out of cans. (Illustrate structure with arms).
Then all of a sudden, the creepy guy weasels his way onto the floor and sits down at our table… and like a jackass he tries to add a can to the structure. (Start slowing things down for the punch line)
Little did he know… that although the Red Bull on the top of the structure was opened… it was full… so this guy tries to add his can to the top then BAM!……………….the whole structure falls right into his lap and the filled soda can pours all over his crotch!
(Create dramatic spill scene around your crotch, getting the girl to look there, although sneaky, creates lots of subtle sensual messages)
It looked like he wet his pants!
His face turns beat red and he just runs downstairs and we assume he left the club cause we didn’t see him again… I don’t know what the big deal is…I thought it was hilarious!
(Share a good laugh with your audience, initiate more touch if you so please, initiating touch during laughter is very powerful)
Before I end this oh so long newsletter….I want to leave you with a couple advanced story telling tips.
- Do not memorize your stories. You don’t want to sound like you are reading from a script, you want it to seem natural. It is possible to be too good at telling your stories and then it is almost like the listener is watching a scripted play. Just understand the concepts and events of your story, there should always be some slight differences when you tell your story. Practice telling it…but don’t become a scripted narrator.
- If you are telling the same story, increase vocabulary in it, use powerful verbs and adjectives to bring the story to life.
- Start your stories at the end. If you ever saw the movie Fight Club you will notice how you are caught up into the story right from the beginning because you are curious to see how Edward Norton’s character got himself in such a dangerous situation. You can start your story at the end then build up to really captivate your audience.
- The more emotion you put into a story the better, the more emotion you show in a story, the more mistakes you can make because your emotion and commitment to the story covers all that up.
- Avoid pauses like “ummmm and ugghhh” everyone has a bad habit when they stumble in there stories.
- Always be painting a picture, appeal to all the senses as much as possible.
-Lastly and most important to sum things up….
“Do not tell your stories AT your audience…tell your stories TO your audience.”
Make sure they are always getting involved and as you are telling your story, keep your eyes open for cues in the interaction you do not always have time to look for. Use these cues to find what points of your stories get certain reactions, and use them to move the story along.
You pick up on different things if you are telling a story you know well, this is another way storytelling continues to improve your game.
Just when I know how to escalate and get good with women quickly, I think of those women I slept with but couldn’t keep around.
And that is quite depressing.
There are so many women that has the ability to be a great girlfriend.
But I had my brain up my butt.
…maybe that’s a little harsh.
But either way it comes down to TWO distinct problems:
First, I was working hard to prove something to myself. I was still a recovering nerd but I’ve never fully recovered. And I’ve stopped trying to recover. And that’s what’s made me move past this “proving myself” thing.
I’ve accepted what I am.
Sure, I like video games and comic books.
But…
Do you believe girls have cooler interests?
Is shopping, getting drunk and Myspace are cooler than what I’m into?
It’s all relative.
Self-acceptance is what really matters.
A girl won’t accept you if you don’t accept yourself first.
Can you imagine a woman wanting to be your girlfriend when you don’t like yourself?
She will HATE your company and not want to be around you.
Because you can’t really like a woman, if you don’t like yourself. And if you do like her, but not yourself, then you look like a total loser. And who do you think wants to date a loser?
Although it sounds easy, self-acceptance is extremely rare. How often do you hear people say, “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me!”
Based on my experience, almost all DON’T ACCEPT themselves completely.
And I am one of them.
How you accept yourself is how women find you attractive, and people likes to be around you.
It may be hard to completely accept yourself. There is an old beliefs creep in and saying you are not enough, that you must be more than yourself now.
But the degree to which you banish these thoughts is the degree to which your game becomes better.
Because game is really about being yourself, not doubting yourself. And game doesn’t stop after your opener, after “mating”, after a few dates. It never stops.
Because it is you.
You are not separated from your game.
The “game” is the degree to which you can express who you really are. Your game IS YOU.
Maybe you think “But I’m nervous and insecure and awkward.” I don’t agree. That’s not you.
That is the indistinct you.
That is you trying to come out, but the one that stop you from expressing what you really want to express is your ego and your old mental habits.
Before I go deeper to that, I want to skip to the second reason why I couldn’t keep women around after I slept with them.
I’m not conscious about shaping.
Knowing what you want is really just an extension of self-acceptance. And shaping is all about knowing what YOU want. If you don’t know what you want, you can’t shape.
In fact, it is self-acceptance, applied to others. You encourage women to do to you what you like if you know what you like also.
As you can see, women are very flexible. They have a lot of things that they can expose to a guy. Men usually tell women to be selfish, mean, and act like they are better than the man.
But it’s not really her fault. She’s just doing what she’s told. Women are always looking to men to get a sense of reality.
So if you approach and treat a woman like a pedestal, she will act accordingly.
If you approach a woman and treat her like she’s lucky that you approached her, she will feel that way.
Also if you treat her like she should stay in your life and nurture your lifestyle after mating with her, she will do so.
We go into this heavily in our workshops. I’ve developed lots of ways to shape a woman to be EXACTLY the kind of woman I want in my life.
And each woman is different. For example, I may want one woman to be just a mating partner. I may want another woman to be a sugar mama! I may want another one to be a girlfriend. It all depends on what you want.
I remember all the crappy, frustrating relationships I used to have.
Also I think all the hookups I had as a young pickup artist, and how frustrating it was not see those women again.
But when I began to accept myself and analyze what I wanted, it all came together.
The Attraction Code is all about figuring out who you are, accepting and cultivating your character, and then applying that to the women you want to meet, sleep with, and date.
If you are struggling with self acceptance and letting the real YOU shine through The Attraction Code is a MUST HAVE.
Most of the time, a man can feel like a slave to his natural need to procreate.
Then there’s that common phrase, “He thinks with his… You know.”
Well it is hard NOT think that way if you are physically unsatisfied.
But men are also goal oriented.
We are doers, and need to achieve things and affect the world in a positive way.
One of the biggest challenges I’ve personally faced is balancing the two - my urges and
achieving my goals.
When you are single, dating can consume a lot of time. Women will suck away at your time if you don’t know what you’re doing.
Before you notice it, you are spending hours feeding the birds and cuddling in the park… now nothing wrong with spending a quality time with your girlfriend, AS LONG AS IT DON’T interferes YOUR GOALS IN LIFE.
Goals take time, but so do women.
In fact, it’s the nature of a woman to take up the man’s time - it’s her way of getting you to invest in her. That way if the woman gets pregnant there’s a less chance of you leaving (this comes from our caveman days, so to speak).
It is really tricky to manage your time with women. You see, giving their time to women is what most guys WANT to give. By nature men are “givers.” They like to please women, protect them, and give them good feelings.
Men also have a urges that can completely take over your thoughts.
Both of these things can get in the way of you making the most time of your life.
Now take a minute to ask yourself about this, “WHAT DO I REALLY WANT TO GIVE TO WOMEN?”
Now I’m willing to bet it wasn’t “money,” or “lots of my free time,” or “control over my
life.”
It was probably something like “feeling of safety, good feelings, sexual pleasure,
excitement, relaxation, make her smile or feel good about herself, etc.”
I think guys have some difficulties with how they use their time with women in two ways.
First, they overcompensate with other stuff - like spending too much time or money on a
woman because they think that the gifts they REALLY wanted to give aren’t that valuable.
Second, men think that they are “getting” something valuable when a woman spends her
time with them.
Society brainwashes men to believe that women are a prize to claim, and that there’s some inherent value in a pretty face.
It’s not TRUE!
The best thing is to see women for what they are, nothing more, nothing less. They are
cute, sometimes fun, but ultimately not that important, AND THEY CAN’T COMPLETE YOUR LIFE!
Now getting out of this mental prison of feeling inferior to women is really hard.
Your mental habits are subtle and hard to notice because you’ve been doing them for
years.
Young men are taught that their urges is crude and silly, and that it is just a favor that women ALLOWS them to mate with them.
There’s another societal factor going on, that I call the “doofus dad” syndrome. In almost every TV commercial and sitcom, the “dad” or “boyfriend” or “husband” is a dopey, incompetent goof, and the mom/daughter/girlfriend/wife has to use her superior intelligence to fix the situation.
This will bring to the idea that the time of the women is more valuable than men because of the perception that women are “better.”
If your time is not so valuable, then you will feel obligated to give her LOTS OF IT.
But here’s the thing - if you are giving a woman too much time, you won’t be present for most of that time. You will be distracted, resentful, you will give her your “half-assed” attention.
When I analyzed tons and tons of dates I went on women, it was just when I realized it.
After that I started giving women smaller amounts of my time, but with my FULL ATTENTION.
Not only did this make our time better, it created MASSIVE ATTRACTION because I left women craving more.
This make my girlfriends can’t get enough of me - and I don’t GIVE THEM “enough.”
Ask you know, “enough” would mean, “overexposure” to me, and women can’t be pulled to what they already have.
The proper way to manage your time is by being HONEST. And I don’t recommend you to play games with women and pretend to be busy or whatever.
Just be real with her - don’t spend more time that you want. no need of games.
Enjoy whatever free time you have with women but still with focus on your personal goals. Be the man on the go.
Now it requires that in a short span of time that you can be able to meet a lot of women, which I’ll have to take up in another newsletter.
It’s not good to see that men waste their lives chasing and “putting up with” girls, and then they are left out ALONE.
You should think that women aren’t property that you can keep or somehow bring with you when you die.
Investing all your time with a woman is not a guarantee that you can “keep” her.
I want to make one more point - when you start being honest about how much time you’re willing to give a woman, you may feel GUILTY.
It either she will make you feel guilty or you will feel it on your own. That’s ok, it just means that you have a weak focus.
You see, it usually comes from the social norm if you are following your true ways.
If you are in the mental habit of adopting the values others try to impose onto you, you will most likely experience some discomfort, tension, guilt, even loneliness at first.
That’s why I set and develop the Attraction Code. It’s all about self-control, finding true path, and letting the real ‘you’ emerge from within.
And no, we don’t intend to impose our goals to you. I think you are capable enough to handle it to yourself, given the proper guidance.
Most of the time, a man can feel like a slave
to his natural need to procreate.
Then there goes a common quote, “He thinks
with his… You know.”
Well it is hard NOT think that way if you are
physically unsatisfied.
But men are also goal oriented.
We are doers, and need to achieve things and
affect the world in a positive way.
One of the biggest challenges I’ve personally
faced is balancing the two - my urges and
achieving my goals.
When you are single, dating can take a lot of
time. If you don’t know what you’re doing,
women will suck away at your time.
Before you know it, you are spending hours in
the park, feeding the birds and cuddling…
there’s nothing wrong with spending a quality
time with your girlfriend, AS LONG AS YOU
DON’T compromise YOUR GOALS IN LIFE.
Goals take time, and so do women.
In fact, it’s their NATURE to take up a man’s
time - it’s her way of getting you to invest
in her. That way there’s less chance of you
leaving if she gets pregnant (this comes from
our caveman days, so to speak).
It is really tricky to manage your time with
women. You see, giving their time to women is
what most guys WANT to give. By nature men are
“givers.” They like to please women, protect
them, and give them good feelings.
Men also have a urges that can completely take
over your thoughts.
Both of these things can get of you making the
most of your life, your time.
Now take a minute to ask yourself about this,
“WHAT DO I REALLY WANT TO GIVE TO WOMEN?”
Now I know it wasn’t about “money,” or
“control over my life,” or “lots of my free
time.”
It was probably something like “feeling of
safety, good feelings, sexual pleasure,
excitement, relaxation, make her smile or feel
good about herself, etc.”
There are two ways that I think why men have
problems with how they use their time with
women.
First, they overcompensate with other stuff -
like spending too much time or money on a
woman because they think that the gifts they
REALLY wanted to give aren’t that valuable.
Second, men think that they are “getting”
something valuable when a woman spends her
time with them.
Guys was brainwash by the society to believe
that women are a prize to attain, and that
there’s some inherent value in a pretty face.
It’s a LIE!
The best thing is to see women for what they
are, nothing more, nothing less. They are
cute, sometimes fun, but ultimately not that
important, AND THEY CAN’T COMPLETE YOUR LIFE!
Now it can be really hard to break out of this
mental prison of feeling inferior to women.
Your mental habits are subtle and hard to
notice because you’ve been doing them for
years.
Young men are taught that their urges is
crude and silly, and that it is just a favor
that women ALLOWS them to mate with them.
There’s a syndrome that I call a “doofus dad”
syndrome. There’s another societal factor going
on, . In almost every TV commercial and
sitcom, the “dad” or “boyfriend” or “husband”
is a dopey, incompetent goof, and the
mom/daughter/girlfriend/wife has to use her
superior intelligence to fix the situation.
This will bring to the idea that the time of
the women is more valuable than men because of
the perception that women are “better.”
You will feel obligated to give a woman a LOT
OF TIME if your time is not so valuable.
But here’s the thing - if you are giving a
woman too much time, you won’t be present for
most of that time. You will be distracted,
resentful, you will give her your “half-assed”
attention.
I just realize this after analyzing lots of
dates I went on women.
After that I started to give my FULL ATTENTION
to women even though I’m only giving a smaller
amounts of my time.
Not only did this make our time better, it
created MASSIVE ATTRACTION because I left
women craving more.
Now my women can’t get enough of me - in fact,
I don’t GIVE THEM “enough.”
You see, “enough” would mean, “overexposure”
to me, and women can’t be pulled to what they
already have.
The proper way to manage your time is by being
HONEST. And I don’t recommend you to play
games with women and pretend to be busy or
whatever.
No need of games, just be real with the girl -
and don’t spend more time that you want.
Enjoy whatever free time you have with women
but still with focus on your personal goals.
Be the man on the go.
Now in a short amount of time it requires that
you are able to meet a lot of women, which
I’ll have to cover in another newsletter.
It makes me sad to see men waste their lives
chasing and “putting up with” women, and then
they are buried in their coffin ALONE.
Women aren’t property that you can keep or
somehow take with you when you die. Think
about that.
You can’t “keep” a woman by investing all your
time with her.
One more thing here - if you start being
honest with the amount of time you are willing
give to a woman, you may feel GUILTY.
It either she will make you feel guilty or you
will feel it on your own. That’s ok, it just
means that you have a weak focus.
If you are following your true ways, it will
usually from the social norm.
If you are in the mental habit of adopting the
values others try to impose onto you, you will
most likely experience some discomfort,
tension, guilt, even loneliness at first.
That’s why I set and develop the Attraction
Code. It’s all about self-control, finding
true path, and letting the real ‘you’ emerge
from within.
And no, we don’t try to impose our values or
goals onto you. We think you’ll be able to do
that for yourself, given the proper guidance.
Are you interested in meeting, attracting and keeping a “10″ kind of a woman? If yes, then you will find the letter very interesting.
But before anything else, let’s go waaaay back…
Back in high school, I had a girl classmate that was so perfect.
That girl was so beautiful, cool and smart that it was hard to look at her (and yet I can’t take my eyes off away from her)…
She was friendly to everyone and was one of the popular kids in school.
We talked occasionally, and looking back I realize we were flirting (I was too stupid to realize at the time).
I was really wanted to ask her to senior prom… but at the last minute I chickened out.
It was a few years later that I realized that the girl had a crushed on me all the senior year.
I’ve talked to a lot of guys and this seems a pretty common experience among them there was this ONE SPECIAL WOMAN who you crushed on from afar, and they missed an opportunity with her, or she broke your heart…
Ah, the hard to tame “10,” a perfect girl that every guy dream of but never seems to have it.
I have so many things to say about this so-called “10’s.” In one word they are women of another “breed,” but at the same time, what makes them so is in the way they think.
To help you resolve this conundrum, and maybe help you find that “perfect girl” for yourself, you need to understand you own fascination with female perfection, and understand the reality behind extremely beautiful women.
First thing, the idea about “10″ is just a myth. There’s no such thing as a perfect human being. You cannot tell that a girl is more “valuable” just because she looks beautiful than the other girl.
A woman that turns you on and have a great chemistry with you is the only true “10″ and is the one that’s perfect for you.
Subsequently, there are a lot of 10’s in the world, you just need to have the ability to meet a bunch of women, and make an options for yourself.
It will be a failure on your part if you treat women differently just basing solely on looks or on whose much prettier.
Why?
Because a lot of guys do that.
A woman knows what you’re thinking and sees you as shallow.
But of course there are certain women that seem on another “level” of beauty than the other. And they are treated much differently than other women.
You need to understand on how you will deal with these kinds of women.
As I’ve said, you shouldn’t treat women “differently.”
Let me clear this up.
You shouldn’t treat a girl BETTER than the others. But there are two things you need to know.
First of all, a woman is turn off for those men that chases her only for the looks alone.
More than anything else, a woman values a guy that appreciates her personality.
Now for the benefits of yours, I’ll give you a heads up.
The so-called “10’s” has two different types.
Low self-esteem and high self-esteem.
The pretty common is the low self-esteem 10’s. Women here have a guilt complex. Because they are used to being wanted for their looks, but they know that they didn’t EARN that attention.
In fact, most of their lives are probably coasted, and are in complete dumbasses.
It may sound harsh but I call it like that.
These women will respond to jerk behavior. They take away and flip out their validation will and do anything to get it back.
Anything.
(Aside from that, these women usually suck in bed and are total head cases when you get involved with them.)
Meanwhile, the high self-esteem 10’s are women that have had a taste of the elite - early from the start they realized that high levels of society were attainable to them, they exert an effort be intelligent, successful and make the most of their lives.
They know that they can get closer to a great life than everyone else, and they are motivated to put a lot of hard work to attain that.
Usually these women have good attitudes, are intelligent, have a direction in life and have lots of interests beyond being clubbing.
In fact, most of beautiful women I’ve dated didn’t go to the club. They just spend their nights being with their families, reading, or having a nice dinner with friends (or studying if they were in college).
Another interesting thing is that these women are single for long periods of time while in-between boyfriends. Why?
It is because they have high standards for themselves, and this makes most men either too intimidated to ask them out, or act too needy and pathetic around them, it’s rare that they meet another man who is on their level.
But here’s the good thing. If you understand The Attraction Code you will know that these women are the easiest to attract.
Being the best man you can be and being a “male 10″ is what you will get from these Attraction Code.
When you start to embody the Attraction Code you will surely notice an interesting thing.
Occasionally women that are less attractive will be rude to you and you’ll get an odd responses from them- that is because they know they’re not on your level - I call this as Auto-Rejection Mechanism. Some girls will try to protect themselves from being rejected by you, by rejecting YOU first.
But you’ll be amazed to see the responds of the most beautiful and attractive women that warm right up to you as soon as you approach them - whether on the street or in the bar - because they can see that you are on their “level.”
The woman will thinks “finally, a guy who can hang with me; he’s confident and treats me like a real person. And he’s the only guy who’s actually tried to talk to me today, instead of whistling from his car.”
The Attraction Code is intended for these kinds of women. And you’ll also enjoy a lot of “adventures” with all kinds of women, but this is about having the option of dating the hottest, highest quality women.
I will be sharing with you today a very important and powerful subject when it comes to meeting and holding the interest of a women and anyone in your life.
This subject is no other than Storytelling and when used correctly, can make your desirability with women sky rocket.
But Before I jump into the tips and secrets behind successful story telling. I want to clear up a few myths when it comes to the matter of story telling.
Myth one: My stories have to be true and about me.
Now this is ultimately up for you to decide but as long as you keep the conversation fun, apply the right story telling techniques, and can keep the conversation moving, then your story does not have to be true.
Even if the women knows that the story is true, if you kept it fun, she will be entertained and most likely run with new conversation topics developed from your stories.
I am not encouraging you to lie though, the most powerful stories are ones that are true and come from a place of emotion.
You can be so over the top with stories where the unbelievably becomes so fun that she gets involved and becomes part of a newly painted reality that you and the girl get to share and more importantly create together. (This becomes a key factor in “Role Playing” and by mastering storytelling, your creativity in “Role Play Conversations” raises but sadly, the subject of role playing will have to be saved for a later issue.)
However I think the biggest misconception is not whether the stories have to be true, but is more about whether or not they have to be about the story teller.
One of the main goals of story telling is to communicate to the listener about you. Surprisingly, it is easier to convey things about yourself by HOW you tell a story, not the actual content of it.
Through the power of expressions, energy, and vivid language, you can convey to your listeners such things as, dominance, humor, interests, and over all personality.
When applying the proper techniques of a story, you should be able to repeat what you heard on the news but in such a fashion that directly makes you more interesting and displays your personality.
Myth Two: As you get better with women you become less dependent on story telling.
Now there is some truth to this myth in the sense that you do not go into interactions with pre-scripted stories as much as you may starting out. However, it is through the skills that storytelling develops that make you less dependent.
Instead of going into in interaction with a story you have made up or written down and rehearsed, you are able to share any subject in an interesting fashion that makes people listen.
This skill is enhanced by applying the arts of storytelling and is one of the key reasons learning and mastering storytelling is a great way to improve not only your skills with women, but your overall social skills.
What is storytelling > > >
Storytelling is the direct means of communication when highlighting important parts of your life to the listener. Not only through context, but through delivery.
Why is storytelling important > > >
Storytelling plays a very important part in getting to know someone and the great thing about telling a story, is that it creates so many other subject matters to talk about and that a story is almost always followed by another story.
There are many reasons storytelling is important and if you are not currently utilizing storytelling then consider these following facts:
* Storytelling is a great way to save dying conversations
This is one of the most common problems that I see with many guys. An interaction will be going great, then conversation starts to die and there is that awkward silence. This is a great time to bust out a story from your arsenal and revive the interaction.
Knowing you are armed with a story creates more approach confidence when entering an interaction.
People are afraid to enter interactions because of the fear of running out of things to say. By developing a great story or two and keeping them in your back pocket for when you need them creates a great since of confidence during the initial approach and can really help limit the anxiety that one gets when approaching a beautiful women. You are guaranteed that the interaction will last at least the length of your story.
* Storytelling is a great way to display dominance
When you are telling a story the right way, all eyes are on you, you are the center of attention, and everyone lingers off your next word. Holding the attention of the group through storytelling puts you in a dominant frame of you being the leader of the interaction and everyone else being the listener, waiting to see where you take the group next.
* Storytelling develops stronger social skills
This is one of the biggest reasons that I like to make sure everyone masters storytelling. Through storytelling you learn to capture the entire attention of the group. Also you directly convey your personality and it gets you accustomed to doing so. The skills that are developed from strong storytelling directly carry over into your social personality that make all conversation with you more exciting and vivid. The expressiveness you show in stories ties into your future interactions and directly improves your social personality.
* You can convey things through storytelling that you normally could not say.
There may be some interesting details of your life that said outside the context of a story may come off as bragging. But in a story, these little details are never the subject of the story thus they remain subtle but are powerful when displaying aspects of your identity.
What you convey through your stories is how you will be remembered.
Unlike most things you say during an interaction, a good story is unforgettable. How many times have you had someone tell you about some crazy story that one of their friends told them? Stories have been passed down for ages; it is an old custom and still exists till this day. The girl should be able to look back on the interaction and be like “Oh yeah, that was the guy who (did whatever interesting activity that relates to you).”
Now that you have an idea of why storytelling is so effective and what you should be aiming for when telling a story. We are going to work on creating your very own powerful stories that cannot be neglect. All this will be covered in Part II of this newsletter, but there is an exercise I want you to do right now so you can directly apply all the tips and tactics to create an amazing story.
Exercise 1: Write down anywhere from seven to ten moments in your life that you feel changed or defined who you are.
Ideas: Vacations, Life/Death Experiences, an unforgettable concert or sporting event, a moment you succeeded, something funny that happened to you or a friend.
This can be happy, fun, or even sad (not depressing) but we do learn through negative experiences. We will eventually cut these down to just a couple stories in Part II but for now I just want you to get into the habit of taking note of interesting experiences in your life.
If you have a funny story then that is just a humorous time then feel free to include that. But even if the story does not seem major yet entertaining, the fact that you can remember it means it has a bigger effect than you realize.
I have already anticipated that there are going to be people that would say they have no interesting stories. This is absolutely not the true; everyone has something interesting that has shaped who they are. Don’t be modest; even if it’s a silly story write it down. You can’t be afraid to share a story, sometimes they are hard to think of and if you really can’t think of a past story, starting paying more attention to your every day life. And if you still can’t think of one then go take a vacation, you will return with hundreds of them.
So many things happen in one day that people don’t even think would be a story. But every past event being told is a story. There is no excuse not to have one.
Exercise 2: Write down at least 5 things that you would like people to know about you.
Ideas: Hobbies, Sports you play, instruments you play, your job, your goals, your skills and achievements.
This is going to tie into personality conveying. Think of the things that you would like any friend or new acquaintance to know about you. These are the things that directly relate to your identity and make you who you are. Do not be surprised if these things are directly related in some way to the stories you wrote down in exercise one.
Now save this list, we are going to use it a lot in Part II of this newsletter to construct a powerful stories that you can always rely on. Also I will further go into the skills of storytelling and how to use them to make every story and conversation more interesting.
I am going to do this very exercise along with you guys so you will get to see my story end product as well.
So, just keep an eye for the next letter and get ready to really take storytelling to the on the action.
